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Some tips when you are invited to a Vietnamese wedding

Tuc Le Cuoi Xin / Wedding Customs (Vietnamese Culture: Frequently Asked Questions)Vietnamese Ao Dai Pattern

Vietnamese Wedding Dress

11 comments:

Jackie Lee said...

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TW said...

So while it seems you have some items correct about a Vietnamese wedding, I would say some are pretty far off:

1. 30 minutes late tends to be the usual decent time to show up...definitely not 2 hours.

2. I've never noticed many weddings to be especially loud with the music, not earplug worthy at the very least.

3. There's usually a box up front for the envelopes of cash (not checks, who has checks in VN?). No speeches at the table and certainly $50 is a lot for a gift. Not to mention that money will go to pay for the meal you just ate, not really much pocketed by the bride and groom.

Not sure if you are explaining a Vietnamese wedding outside of Viet Nam, but those are the corrections I'd give for a VN wedding in VN.

newbie said...

Your assessment is pretty much accurate depending on where the wedding is taking place in the United States.

1. It's becoming a bad habit of Vietnamese to be late all the time and it's not good for everyone. The bridal party and people who are on time has to wait for the latecomers. The more they wait the less likely they will be on time the next time. Nobody likes to wait so nobody comes on time anymore. I say just start on time and let the people who comes late enjoy the cold food. That way people will start coming on time again. I'm sorry but it is more disrespectful for people to come late and to keep the people who are on time waiting. Two hours late sounds like Vietnamese in California and Texas.

2. Sometimes, it's not just the loud music but it's also bad sound that makes it seem louder. A lot of band I've experience overload their system to the point of clipping or distortion. Speakers that distort sound do seem louder than those that don't. Bad sound is bad no matter the volume.

However, many Vietnamese bands aren't up to par. The majority of Vietnamese musicians have limited understanding of music theory. Many cannot read music and only play from memory or "by ear". Unfortunately our memory can unreliable and playing "by ear" usually means playing by "guessing".

3. The money gifts are usually given while the bride and groom go from table to table to toast and thank the people for coming. People used to give cash but nowadays checks are often preferred since weddings are sometimes robbed.

Come on people, change our bad habit of being late!

Rob said...

How do your experiences compare to ours?

http://www.jetsetzero.tv/2008/11/17/episode-5-student-teacher-relationships/

I was shocked at the volume of beer flowing.

An said...

I'd say it's pretty accurate for a US wedding, but a little exaggerated. 2 hours is a bit extreme to be late - I'd say 30 to 45 minutes is average (but be aware of food starting without you nowadays if you're late). I've never noticed the music being that bad but I guess it depends on the family and how FOB'ish they are LOL!! $50 might have been the average a decade ago... nowadays it's pushing to $75+ per person. Oh and I'm not sure it's a positive cash flow; from what I've seen within the family - you usually break even (unless someone else paid for the wedding and you get to pocket the gifts). You might also want to add that the groom's side pays for the wedding as opposed to the american tradition of the brides side paying :)

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Arya samaj said...
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